Category Archives: friends

Very Inspired Blogger

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Thank you to my friend at Witchy Rambles for nominating me for the Very Inspiring Blogger award!

So the rules…

  • Display the award certificate on your blog.
  • Announce your win with a post and include a link to whoever presented your award.
  • Present seven awards to deserving bloggers. Create a post linking to them and drop them a comment to tip them off.
  • Post seven interesting facts about yourself.

The seven bloggers who I am passing the award onto are:

Not-Tidy – life’s not tidy. neither is she.  But, she is my most amazing sister.

Mad Passions – wife. mommy. bunny snuggler. green tea drinker. crafter. reader. hopeful.  And, my good friend Melanie.

Rediscovering my passion – My friend Cate, discovering her new home of London.

jilliankermani – love her poetry

The Little Farmhouse – another friend embarking on homesteading adventures

Caitlin Moran – I just finished How to Be a Woman; highly recommend!!

Brene Brown Ordinary Courage – her research (and some hard work on my own) changed my life; I sometimes makes mistakes but I am not a mistake!

Okay, those last two blogs might not respond to their award but they are my favs, so there you go!!

Seven random things about me are:

  1. I used to sing in a band called Chalice and Blade.  Someone made a video out of one of our songs and it has over 475,000 views!
  2. I do an environment segment as Ecopriestess on my friend’s pagan podcast – the Wigglian Way by Sparrow and Mojo.  Ecopriestess is launching her own blog this week.
  3. I was an unnatural blonde for 20 years. Last year I did a bunch work with an image consultant. One result was a switch back to my natural brunette and I love it. The main result of the image consulting – having the confidence to truly let my natural self be seen.
  4. I use essential oils for my beauty and cleaning products. And, I sell them, too. Sometimes do home parties. I never sell very much but I love to share how great aromatherapy and essential oils are. How you don’t have to buy expensive and toxic cleaners and cleansers.
  5. I was a lifeguard and I love the water. The ocean, the rivers, lakes, the rain. I am so lucky to live near the ocean. And, I love living  in a rainforest and I love the big trees, the puddles, the moist air, the soft rain and the rain that lashes against the windows. I love the beach and the waves, and I love it most in the rain.
  6. I love taking pictures and, thanks to Instagram and Facebook, am now sharing them. Three of my pictures were recently published in Thumbnail Press.
  7. I love glass art have recently started to make my own glass beads, pendants and small sculptures.

Patience

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Two photos from a lovely walk this morning with an old friend. A chance to walk, chat and sit and enjoy the lazy goings on at the pond. I was struck by both the greenness of the frond in the first photo, along with its perfect reflection in the water. In the second photo, there are two turtles sunning themselves on a log. But, they are pretty well camouflaged so you can’t really see them.

The turtles were fun to watch. They both crawled up onto the log, then slowly shifted and moved until they were both balanced on the log to keep it from tipping. Teamwork and patience. Admirable qualities.

Reigniting the flame …

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Today is the first day of participating in Susannah Conway’s August Break – one photo a day each day in August.

Today starts with beauty.  Yesterday, I had the crappiest morning. I was deep in the darkness of hopelessness and just wanted to give up.  But, I reached out. And, two friends were there to catch me; to talk and listen and remind me of the light and beauty.

Later in the day, I saw this wonderful sunflower.  Next to an industrial parking lot.  Lifting its face to the sun.

Thanks to those two friends, I was able to see the beauty of this sunflower. I am grateful every day for the loved ones in my life who reignite my inner flame when it feels like there is nothing left but ashes.

Fiercely happy

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Lately, I have been thinking a lot about what it means to live a life focused on happiness. That is, focusing on putting energy into the positive things in life and cutting out the negative. To be conscious of when I slip into the negative and make myself stop and change tracks.

Facebook is filled with positive and inspirational quotes in this vein. That if you just focus on love, compassion, letting go and forgiveness then you will live in grace, serenity and peace. Maybe it’s the soft and idyllic images that go with the quotes that make it sound so easy but it seems to me that this advice is wise but way harder than it sounds. Or looks.

Last year at this time I felt like I had perfect, effortless happiness. The kind of happiness that makes every day exciting. And now I am one year away from that time and so much as changed.

Don’t get me wrong; I do have happiness in my life today but what i am learning is that I have to fight for it. Every single day. To actively keep moving forward and not fall back into the same old rut.

To be ruthless about staying in reality, to shine a harsh strong light in order to see clearly while still treating myself with the gentleness needed to support my journey.

To daily refocus and recommit myself to a path whereby I believe in myself. To find and exercise the strength to say no to the many diversions of false comfort.

Maybe this is the next stage of growing up (can you still be growing up at 43?). It certainly feels like a next stage of emotional and spiritual growth. And so, I find myself being fierce about my happiness, questing hard in the direction of what is positive in my life, fueling what feeds my passion and being unapologetic about cutting the things that dampen my fire out of my life. That last part is undiscovered country for me. A foreign landscape.

Somedays, I’m tired. I fall short of my goal. I stumble and fall and hurt. Hurt myself and those close to me. But, I am so much more grateful for the hard-won happiness and for the many blessings in my life than I have ever been before. For the time with loved ones, for honest and authentic connections, for the opportunities in my life to be of service in the world.

For being carried within, and buoyed up by, the flow of love in my life. For the peace of the still, quiet place within my soul.

It’s hard, this happiness, but it’s so worth being fierce about.

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No way out but through

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I spent the weekend away with some wonderful women at a cabin on one of the Gulf Islands in B.C.  On Sunday, we hiked along a path that ended up at the top of a bluff overlooking a narrow passageway between our island and the next. The currents through this narrow passage are fast and there was a bunch of kayakers taking a class and shooting the rapid waters. Most of them headed right into the current, whooping as they hit the white water and were picked up and carried by the currents.

And then there was that one kayaker. The one who hung back and was back paddling at the top of the rapids to keep from heading into them. Back paddling but going nowhere due to the current.  Oh yeah, I thought, I SO get that feeling. Seeing the hard path ahead and not wanting to move forward, even as I am slowly pulled towards the rocks and waves.

Also watching the kayaker, one of my dear friends who was sitting next to me said, “there’s no way out but through”.

Ain’t that the truth! There’s no way out but through …

There are so many things in life that I have tried to avoid doing and feeling because they would stir the waters. Keeping silent to avoid conflict, not saying no for fear that people won’t like me, taking risks that might make me look stupid, being vulnerable in case my heart gets broken, admitting when I’m hurt or angry, numbing out with food so I don’t feel the loneliness and the pain and the sadness, letting failure stop me from trying again.  Frantically back paddling and ending up stuck in one place.

But, those things are really part of life. And, there is no way to get out of the pain and hurt but to head right through them. To take risks, love deeply, be yourself, speak your truth, pick yourself up after a failure and move forward armed with what you learned. Head into the rapids and paddle like crazy.

Not an easy thing to do when the pain is so sharp that you think you can’t breathe. When “one day at a time” turns into “just the next 10 minutes” or “just get up and make it to the shower” or “just wait to cry until you’re out of the grocery store”.

I keep waiting to “get over” the pain.  To be back to the way I was before the hurt happened.  But, I will never be what I was before. I have changed and been changed by what I have learned about myself and my world by these events.  But, by heading through the pain and hurt I can slowly moving past it.

And, as hard as it is to head into the turbulent churning of emotions, it’s also the only way we get to experience the thrill of the ride and to whoop with joy. To be in the current of life and not stuck in an eddy.

And, that’s what that kayaker did, too. Headed through the rapids, paddling like crazy, hopefully enjoying the ride, and then relaxing in the calmer ocean on the other side.  I’m planning to do the same.

I’ll have a shot of tequila

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You know that analogy of pessimism/optimism where some people see the glass as half empty and some people see it as half full?  Well, my favourite answer to that is “the glass has room for a shot of tequila”. 🙂

On Saturday I had a pleasure of hosting a whole bunch of friends at my place for a birthday party. As I looked around the room, I realized that all of us had some full glass and some empty glass. Figuratively as well as literally.

We all had reasons that some things sucked in our lives right now. Some people had partners that couldn’t be there. Others were feeling the loneliness of having no partner. Some people are having health issues or have family with health issues. Some are struggling financially and looking for work. Some are wrestling with tough decisions about life changes or embarking on scary new paths.

But, you’d never know it from the love and laughter in the room. We had all gathered there to celebrate with our friends.  And share. The sucky stuff but all the good stuff. Planning for a wedding, new jobs, projects in our lives that we are passionate about, creating warm and safe homes, raising our children.

And, whether our glasses are half empty, or half full, I think that attitude is the shot of tequila that we can all add. The magical spirit that transforms. Because we can acknowledge and feel the challenges that we have – and wow are some of them hard –  but we need also to celebrate our blessings. To not just feel our gratitude but to practice it everyday, especially when things are hard. I am grateful for the love of my friends for helping me remember that.

Of course, the other answer to the glass question is the engineering response – that the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. But, since I never want to make my life smaller, I’ll just stick with the shot of tequila, thanks!